Bill

So I've got this memorial service coming up. It's on this coming Friday, 4 days from now. I have a 2-minute speech I'm going to read at the service, to let everyone there know who Bill was for me. He had a heart of gold and would go out of his way to help just about anyone who crossed his path. The world is a lonelier place without him now. One of my favorite memories of the time I spent with Bill happened when I was 26. We had bought tickets to go see a movie, and during the previews there was an off-color joke that caught Bill by surprise and started him laughing uncontrollably. It was the kind of laugh that makes you have to sit down for a minute to regain your composure, and I smile every time I remember watching him laugh back then. Bill encouraged me to go back to college when I was in my 20s. I had a decent job, but it was a dead-end position that didn't have any growth potential. I couldn't see that at the time, but Bill did and he gave me the initial push to start taking classes at the local community college, as a way to get over my first college experience (which was a disaster) and move forward. It took a few years, but eventually I was able to enroll full-time and earned myself my bachelor's degree. Bill was there to help me along that path too. Knowing Bill showed me that not every family in the world was dysfunctional like mine. From the beginning when I first met him, you could tell he was the kind of person who had his shit together. He didn't even curse - I can't recall a time when he did. He had a nice house with a pool, two nice cars in the garage that were relatively new and paid for, and always had money in his pocket. It was a far cry from what I was used to. Bill loved having fun. He would always have at least one funny thing to say when we were together. I remember we went to a go kart racing track once when I was maybe 13 or 14 years old. He bought a whole bunch of racing tickets for me without me even asking, and stood at the fence watching me race around this little track for something like 45 minutes. I ran the go kart out of gas, I was out there so long. He didn't mind a bit, that was just the way he was. If he could create some fun for me on our outings he got a kick out of it just as much as I did. Spending money was never an issue for Bill. I never asked how much money he made through his business, but it must have been a lot because he always spent it like it didn't matter to him. He wasn't extravagant or anything, but he drove nice cars and always shopped at the best clothing stores. I always felt bit uncomfortable when he would spend money on me, as though I was undeserving of it or something, but he never had a problem with it. We even argued about it occasionally, but in a good way. If I insisted on paying for my own movie ticket, once I got it I would turn around and find he had bought an armload of sodas and popcorn for us both. I once mentioned to him that I'd like to have a TV in my room at home, just as a casual remark, and when my birthday came around a couple of months later he got me a 13 inch color TV. I didn't ask him to buy me anything, but he would always spend the money on me whenever he saw an opportunity. After I got to know him well I tried to make a point of not asking for anything, just so I wouldn't feel guilty about him spending money on me. This trend continued into my adulthood, too - Bill helped me financially when I was working my way through my bachelor's degree. I tried to talk him out of it by telling him I didn't deserve it, but he insisted on helping me. He was just like that. He saw something in me that I couldn't see myself, and for him that was a good enough reason. Now Bill is gone, and I miss him. I'm going to do my best to honor his memory on Friday, and hopefully I won't cry very much while I'm doing it. It will be hard to keep my composure, but I'll do the best I can.